Sweat Essentials · audited master board · sales cut
The launch inventory
Audited for one objective: purchases. Organised as three Meta campaigns plus production files — every asset that survived earns its place, and section 05 logs what was cut and why. Cut assets still exist on their source pages; nothing is lost, it just doesn't ship.
01
Campaign 1 · Prospecting, broad
The hero singles, one broad ad set, all seven live — S1 vs S1b is the built-in A/B. This is where spend starts (roughly 50%) and where the CPA benchmark gets set.
Hero singles · 4:5
S1 · Your kit stinks · 4:5
S1b · …and that’s OK · 4:5
S2 · Your car knows the smell · 4:5
S4 · The bin bag · 4:5
S5 · Warm water · 4:5
S6 · Your tripod is no longer a dumbbell · 4:5
S9 · Can you film me? · 4:5
02
Campaign 2 · Prospecting, interest-targeted
One ad set per sport and class, each spending only against its own crowd. Cut to the two strongest variants per sport and four classes — concentration beats coverage on interest audiences (roughly 35% of spend).
Sport singles
Padel · Match point, marinating · 4:5
Five-a-side · Shin pads in August · 4:5
Hyrox · Race done, kit ruined · 4:5
Running · 40 degrees, warm water · 4:5
Cycling · 100km of Qudra · 4:5
Golf · Your polo gave up · 4:5
Five-a-side
validated angle
FA1 · Shin pads, in August · 4:5
FA2 · Lost 4–3 · 4:5
Hyrox
event-window spend
HX1 · Roxed it, ruined it · 4:5
HX2 · PB on the sled · 4:5
Padel
PD1 · Match point, marinating · 4:5
PD3 · Booked 9pm, smelt 9am · 4:5
Running
broadest interest pool
RN1 · 40 degrees, warm water · 4:5
RN2 · Ice at 6am, ice at 6pm · 4:5
Cycling
CY1 · 100km of Qudra heat · 4:5
CY2 · Bidon of soup · 4:5
Golf
Abu Dhabi first
Golf 01 · Your polo gave up · 4:5
Golf 02 · White polo, grey by the 9th · 4:5
Gym classes
Spin · One soaked kit · 4:5
CrossFit · Chalk, sweat, repeat · 4:5
Hot yoga · Hotter towel · 4:5
Boxing · Wraps off, windows down · 4:5
03
Campaign 3 · Consideration & retargeting
Carousels and spider explainers for everyone the singles touched: engaged-but-not-purchased, video viewers, site visitors (roughly 15% of spend). Pin carousel card order in Ads Manager.
Carousels & explainers · 4:5
SP · The product, explained · 4:5
SP · The product, explained · 4:5
VC1 · The casualty list · 4:5
VC1 · The casualty list · 4:5
VC1 · The casualty list · 4:5
VC1 · The casualty list · 4:5
VC2 · Your bottle, reviewed · 4:5
VC2 · Your bottle, reviewed · 4:5
VC2 · Your bottle, reviewed · 4:5
VC2 · Your bottle, reviewed · 4:5
04
Production files
Every surviving asset in its placement sizes — 1:1 for carousel and feed-square, 9:16 for Reels and Stories.
Hero singles · sizes
Your kit · 1:1
Your kit · 9:16
Your car knows the smell · 1:1
Your car knows the smell · 9:16
A bin bag. · 1:1
A bin bag. · 9:16
Warm water · 1:1
Warm water · 9:16
S6 · Your tripod is no longer a dumbbell · 1:1
S6 · Your tripod is no longer a dumbbell · 9:16
"Sorry, can · 1:1
"Sorry, can · 9:16
Carousel cards · sizes
VC1 · Casualties · 1:1 · 1:1
VC1 · Casualties · 1:1 · 1:1
VC1 · Casualties · 1:1 · 1:1
VC1 · Casualties · 1:1 · 1:1
VC2 · Bottle reviewed · 1:1 · 1:1
VC2 · Bottle reviewed · 1:1 · 1:1
VC2 · Bottle reviewed · 1:1 · 1:1
VC2 · Bottle reviewed · 1:1 · 1:1
VC1 · Casualties · 9:16 · 9:16
VC1 · Casualties · 9:16 · 9:16
VC1 · Casualties · 9:16 · 9:16
VC1 · Casualties · 9:16 · 9:16
VC2 · Bottle reviewed · 9:16 · 9:16
VC2 · Bottle reviewed · 9:16 · 9:16
VC2 · Bottle reviewed · 9:16 · 9:16
VC2 · Bottle reviewed · 9:16 · 9:16
05
The cut — and the toolkit
What was removed from the launch set and why, plus the influencer brief that gets the creator footage for the next wave. Cut assets remain on their source pages.
Cut from the launch set
FA3 · Man of the match
Flattery dilutes the accusation system — the ego hook sells the player, not the sack.
HX3 · Cold at station eight
Flask race angle already covered by RN1 and S5; the short Hyrox window should concentrate on HX1’s bundle economics.
PD2 · Golden point, rotten grip
Implies the sack rescues overgrips — claim logic too loose to put money behind.
RN3 · 10k done, tee’s done in
Sack pitched at a flask audience; crossover experiment, not a seller.
CY3 · Bibs in the boot
Comment bait that trades on gross-out — suppresses purchase intent even as it earns shares.
GF3 · Five rounds, warm water
Crossover again; golf budget belongs on the soaked-polo problem every golfer already knows.
GC-HIIT · Round three: regret
“Regret” is vague where spin and CrossFit name concrete moments; audience overlaps both.
U1–U8 · UGC formats
Built before the validated problem-first register and rejected on review. The UGC lane reopens when real creator footage lands — on the Stinks voice, not these frames.
U5 · Review card
Blocked regardless: ships only with a real, attributable customer review.
Exploration files
Pivot A–D, Directions 1–3 and the superseded brand-matched set deleted from the project — resolved explorations, all captured by the current system.
The influencer brief
Send this to creators — it gets you the raw content every asset above needs.
Shot list — sweatSACK
1. Boot of the car open, kit loose — face of mild disgust (hook shot)
2. Wet kit going INTO the sack, zip closing — close, satisfying
3. Sack dropped into the gym bag with everything else — nothing else gets wet
4. Sack going into the washing machine — the payoff nobody expects
5. Talking head, one line: "your gym bag isn't the problem, the wet kit is"
Phone footage, vertical, flash on indoors. Imperfect beats polished — no ring lights, no colour grade.
Shot list — sweatFLASK
1. Phone propped on a plate falling over mid-set (the before, played straight)
2. Phone snapping onto the MagSafe handle — the sound matters, mic it
3. Bottle-as-tripod on the floor, set happening in frame behind
4. Ice rattle + pour at hour 8–10 of a long day (timestamp on screen)
5. Talking head: "stopped asking strangers to film my sets"
Deliverables per creator: 5 raw clips + 3 stills, usage rights for paid social stated in the agreement — not implied.
Hooks bank — first line on screen, creator's own wording encouraged
"nobody told me my gym bag wasn't the problem"
"stopped asking strangers to film my sets"
"my car stopped smelling like a changing room"
"the camera guy is a bottle now"
"rule 3 changed everything" (points at notes list)
"it's been in my boot for 2 days. smell nothing."
"I wash the bag WITH the kit"
"my water is still cold and it's 6pm"
Disclosure: every paid post carries #ad up front — buried disclosure is an ASA/FTC problem and Meta rejects undisclosed branded content.